Bad Mommy!!!

Oh boy, today was not my best day. I thought I got a good start, E woke me up at 6:30 and I stayed awake, Glenn worked last night so he took the baby to daycare and I had a pretty productive morning work wise. Then I picked him up at noon, as usual. When I got there, he was being fussy. My poor babysitter informed me that he hadn't slept all morning! Now that just never happens around here. She tied to put him down for a morning nap and he just wanted to be held. Imagine that...so the whole drive home I obsessed over not having him sleeping in his crib yet. I stated thinking, I just need to do it! For every naptime, everyday. I made up my mind...10am, 2pm naptime in the crib and 8:30pm naptime in the crib! He fell asleep on the ride home since he hadn't had a wink yet, so when I got home I took him out of the carseat and into the crib. Cries. I left him cry for half an hour. Then I thought he must be hungry. I took him out of the crib and fed him, then back into the crib. More cries. I won't pick him up,  I told myself. He will go to sleep. We can do it at night, so we can do it at naptime. Almost 2 hours later,  I just couldn't do it. And he still hadn't slept since the morning. Talk about Mr. Crabby pants! He won the battle but he won't win the war, I think.

So I sign off of work and we head downstairs for some peas. Peas down the hatch,  time for me to eat dinner then nurse Eliseo. With both of us full and relaxed,  what did we do? Fall asleep of course!  Ugh!!! And we slept until 8!!! Now what to do?? I was going to go to the store to get Eliseo's next foods and clean the house up a little, not to mention moving the monitor and the noise machine up to E's room! I decided to put him in his jammies and lost him stay up until 9. I nursed him again and he was still tired, so I put him down in the pack n play in our bedroom,  as usual. Oh well. I guess we'll try the crib again tomorrow. I think I'm just not ready for that and am unconsciously screwing up so I don't have to part with my sleepy partner yet. I will do it soon, I swear I will. I want him to be a happy,  well rested baby.