I Wonder...

So,  I wonder if anyone is still out there...it's been a long time, but for some reason I felt like putting out a new post today.

It's been a while because we have been working on a lot of things over here.  Life is pretty messy, and we've had our share of it lately.  We have been working through some addictions and dysfunctions, putting our relationship to the test.  We've spent a lot of time in "survival mode" and have been working on some peace and serenity.  As if it's that easy to make that choice and expect things to suddenly change.  I'm not going to air dirty laundry out here, but I kind of feel like a fraud if I just let everyone believe we have the perfect life.  Believe me, we don't.  But we're working on living a REAL life.

I refuse to put out Glenn's inventory, but for me, I deal with co-dependency and anxiety.  Putting everyone else before me, not standing up for myself; trying to control outcomes and situations and everything around me, until it becomes so exhausting that I can't take it anymore.  "Sucking it up" was something I thought I just had to do, but then I'd manifest my anger in passive aggressive ways and then just blow up over something stupid.  So Glenn and I are learning how to communicate, REAL communication, and realizing that respectful conflict in a relationship is a good thing.  And the cool thing is Eliseo gets to learn what healthy communication looks like through us.  We certainly aren't pros at it, it's like learning a whole new language, finding the right words to say.  But, it feels good.  Better than pretend normal.

So, maybe I'll elaborate more to share what we learn in this blog, I haven't decided yet.  But, I somehow felt a responsibility to put it out to the "world."

All for now...

Looks like we're done!

A little to my dismay, I think we are finally done nursing. We have gone 4 nights now without it. I don't think Eliseo is as sad about it is I am. I've only been doing one nursing session at night for months now, but he still wanted to do it so I went along until he gave me signs. Lately I've noticed him almost struggling a little, its not coming as fast as he would like it so I've been getting a lot of stiff arms, round house kicks, and right hooks (more than normal!). People its getting dangerous lol. Every other decision I've made about nursing has seemed very natural and organic, so I wasn't going to put a time limit on this either. Friday night we were out late and he fell asleep in the car, so no nurse needed. Saturday I was feeling under the weather so I heated him up a cup from my frozen supply and he sucked down 6 oz of milk before I could sing him his first lullaby. And when I put him down, he was drowsy but not asleep and there was no fuss..it satisfied him. So Sunday I did the same...and tonight. I have enough frozen supply to last probably more than a month and I'd rather give it to him than pour it down the drain. I thought about donating it but I've heard a lot of bad stories about babies getting sick from donated breast milk. I don't remember if I ever stored milk when I wasn't feeling 100% healthy. So I will give it all to him and then switch to nice warm organic whole milk that I give him at all other times if the day. Big sigh. I've loved nourishing my little man, its truly been a very special time for us. We made it to 21 months. But it's time to move on now.  Ugh, tear.

A word on Parenthood

Tv spoofs it, movies glorify it, but being a real life parent is no joke. God has given me this awesome little human being to take care of, to nuture and build up into a member of society.  When trying to get pregnant,  all you really think about is the baby part.  The cute, little sleeping baby. Then they grow into little people...seriously!!! I imagined myself with a baby and sure, with an older child who I can talk to, but its dawning on me (yes, just now) that this is a little person who looks at Glenn and I for every example in life, starting now and proving it by mimicking everything we do. He's starting to understand words, comprehend situations and even tell us what he wants (sometimes only with an urgent grunt). How do we know we are doing the right things? For example, yesterday he threw a tantrum because he didn't want the rest of his chicken for dinner. So I went to the kitchen and got a Hawaiian roll for him,  which he loves. But then I realized that I would only be positively reinforcing the tantrum. Man this job is hard! Before you have kids, you look at other parents and think: I'll never do that or I'm definitely doing that! And then boom...kiddo is here and he interacts with you and you just have to know what the right thing is to do in that very moment. Or do you? I guess its the same as anything else in life, you have to set boundaries and respect them, then learn from every situation.  I may not be the perfect mom, motherhood doesn't come as naturally to me as it does to some others out there, but I think I'm doing an ok job at it. I'm definitely the best mom that Eliseo has. And I don't take the responsibity lightly. 

God, I will love and nuture the gift that you haven entrusted us with. I will not let You or him down.

Phoenix

Blog bloggity blog blog blog. I have one. But I no blog. Ok I blog now.

Yes, we went to Phoenix! Trip #2 for my little E. He did good.. yet again! Better on the trip there than back. He got a little fussy fighting sleep on the way home,  but even so everyone seated around us told us how good he was after we had landed. So I'll take it!   Probably the last free lap child free flight. After 2 years old we have to start buying him a seat.

We got to see lots of our friends and family again, which of course was the reason for the trip. We snuck in a trip to the Phoenix zoo and the Children's Museum. Eliseo got to play pretty hard.

Let's talk about some of the fun stuff my little man is doing these days. #1 Reading books. My favorite thing at bedtime is finishing up reading a story and then telling him to read it to Mommy. We have a doggy book and its hilarious to hear him attempt all of the different barks. I think the funniest is seeing him copy the things I do when I read to him. Melts my heart. #2 the SINGING. Oh its so cute. It started off with Christmas music and evolved into the alphabet, Itsy Bitsy Spider, If You're Hapoy and you know it (the Scout Bark With Me version, woof woof), and the Bubble Guppies and Sponge Bob.  A few words are emerging but mostly its just carrying the tune. #3 the KISSING.  Mwah mwah mwah to every stuffed animal. Too cute. And he is very generous with kisses for people too. Ask and you shall receive.

We are back into reality...and avoided the latest Polar Vortex so back to work for me and daycare for the little guy tomorrow. Thankfully he took to his crib again after sleeping in bed with us for a week. He is even adjusted back to his normal sleep schedule. Such a good boy.

Christmas and the New Year

So it's been a little while again, huh?  Sorry bout that.  And so much for stress-free Christmas, but at least I'd say it was an improvement over years past.  And when it all came down to it, I had what I needed to have done when I needed to have it.  So why all the fuss?   Well, that's just me.  Maybe one day I'll chill out.  Man, I hope so.

OK so enough about me.  I know you really want to know about Eliseo.  I think he was just a little spoiled this year...and seeing as how this is only his second Christmas, we are in for some really great times down this road.  Glenn had to work on Christmas Eve, so he got home nice and early Christmas morning.  After I had my coffee (a must!) we went up to our big Christmas tree in the loft and got to opening.  E had a lot of fun with all of the commotion, but he didn't really get the unwrapping part.  He liked what he found inside all the paper, but the element of surprise doesn't intrigue him quite yet.  So what did he get?  Well, the big things:  a wagon, a Little Tikes grill and picnic set, a big stuffed dragon that he fell in love with at the store, a V-Tech tablet and a Monsters Inc 4-Wheeler.  He also had a pretty kick-ass stocking if I do say so, with little things like books and movies, coloring books, snacks and a few doo-dads.  After all the presents were opened, Glenn went to bed and E and I played with all his new stuff and watched movies...a very relaxed day after all of the chaos that had led up to it in the prior weeks.  We just spent the day together as a family and it was just about perfect. 

A couple days after Christmas, my sis, kids and mom came to visit (and are still here), visiting with them is always the best part of the holidays for me.  Eliseo has been having a blast again with all his cousins, his aunt and Grammy.  We brought in the new year at my brother's house...he almost made it to midnight this year but not quite.  His mommy and daddy got away for a little bit to a wine bar, so his aunt Dawny had the pleasure of rocking him to sleep.  Although, he woke up after a while when we started packing up to head home.  He stayed up the entire ride home but passed out in his crib as soon as his head hit the mattress. 

And that's about it, it's been a great week, relaxed hanging out with the fam.  It all goes too fast, and I can't believe we are already saying goodbye to 2013.  Here's hoping for a great year for everyone, including great things for the Lyons family!

My stress-free Christmas

Yes, yes, I'm here! I know I'm the worst blogger ever.  I've been trying really hard  to stay ahead of things this year for Christmas.  Every year, I get all caught up with buying the perfect gifts, and going into stores, looking around and feeling completely overwhelmed until finally one day, the stars will align and I get everything done.  I kinda do the same thing with decorations...wait too long to put them up and then I panic and stay up all night putting everything up.  So, this year I said NO MORE!!  This is going to be my first stress-free Christmas!  I did most of my shopping on line, which is wonderful for someone who hates to shop (yes, I hate to shop).  I managed to pick some things up at Target or Marshall's, Sam's, etc when I was there shopping for other things, and I've attended (and hosted) some fun parties at which I bought some gifts.  So, I'm in pretty good shape now, although I still need to make that final big trip to Target to do stockings, bows, and put the final touches on everything.  Oh and gift cards...which are NO fun to buy but take up a large portion of my budget.  I also have my decorations up around the house, which I did in 2 phases.  First, I worked on the first floor.  The living room gets crowded really quick, last year I bought a 4 foot tree that I put on top of a table in the corner which is awesome.  It fits there perfectly, E doesn't try to take off the ornaments but yet I still have a tree to admire in the living room.  Eliseo especially loves those decorations that you push the buttons and music plays, lights flash and things move around.  He has learned how to squeeze the hand and he sits in wonder while the lights flash and music plays.  But, it wouldn't be the same without our big tree, so on another night when Glenn was home, we put that up and again decorated it as a family.  OK, so I put up the tree while he was working on the lights outside.  The tree was stored in the basement and it goes in the 2nd story loft, and I was on E duty....and he would cry anytime I went in the basement or upstairs... so I carried the tree up 2 flights of stairs piece by piece with Eliseo on my hip.  What can I say...it was good exercise.  After I had it up, G came inside and we hung all the special ornaments.  I would tell E the story of each ornament and put them on the tree.  Then he would point to them and "tell the story" in the same intonation I told it in his cute toddler babble.  Oh yes, he was taking some off too, until I finally just let him carry one around that had glitter all over it...and hence glitter all over him.  We also went to see Santa this year.  Eliseo did pretty well, Santa played with him for a minute before taking him from me, he had a candy cane that he handed to E, then E would hand it back to him and Santa would laugh....HO HO HO.  Then E would laugh too.  So he didn't really want to hang out on Santa's lap for too long, but long enough to get a decent picture.

OK, so despite all this, my season hasn't been totally stress-free but it's been better.  Its not only Christmas I stress out on, but the combo of work stuff and trying to get everything done each day (been working on weekends a lot too).  I find myself exhausted and after I put E to bed, sometimes I just crash.  So, sorry readers, but the blog post is the first thing crossed off the list for now.  But, for those of you who don't follow me on FB, here is your picture fix!

Stationery Card

Stationery Card

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